WHAT am i Doing?

past week i've been dreaming these dreams... it goes all well and then i see my ex. some reason in each dream i fk her and after i would ask her to break up with her bf.

you know they say, our dreams are our deepest desires because it enters into our subconsciousness. i would admit, i do have sexual urges quite frequently but it only seems to be for only one person. like i always have this urge to fk my ex. and it's soo bad because she has another bf.

Whats wrong with me? it seemed to real and when i woke up, my heart chipped off abit.

What am i doing.

fascinating

fascinating.. gotta find new friends? feel like i got excluded from the bestest friends i ever had. for the first 2 years. but it seems like they only liked me because of my ex i assume now. i dont get it. am i not a good friend then?

whatever. life is life. it moves on, if they dont treat me like how i feel about them, then i guess they are not what i think they are anymore. things change people change and i will change i guess. 

nobody said it was easy but i love it. because it's not easy and i want a challenge in life now. 

whatever it is that is infront of me, COME AT ME BRO

blank.

recently i have been struggling with many things. mainly i guess is that i have been developing seriously huge urges but somehow i've been suppressing it pretty well.. but im scared i'll explode soon.. eheheh sounds really weird.. lol

WHATS THE MATTER WITH ME?!

confession.

I am filled with anger and hatred against someone i dont even know.

i've imagined what if i saw him?

i thought of beating the shit out of him. no joke.

For Sure

No matter how many moments i have,

Each time i realize the same thing,

That she's gone and theres no way that i can get her back anymore...

Well at this point...

Thats For Sure.

Lately i've been feeling really lonely.

When in fact there were people around me.

Everything inside started to disappear.

Am I ending life soon? Do i have no more purpose?

Who Am I?

Im a Dumbo thats for sure.

I think back;

The memories make me happy.

The realization that it is not real anymore terrifies me.

The reminder that she's with someone hurts yet comforts.

The Sure Thing is I love her with all my heart.

But will that love be enough? That is the unsure.