gone.

i dont get it. i always go on your blog hoping you'll open up to me. but i know it wont ever happen. ever again. and i get it. but i dont know it's all very interesting because even though i know it wont happen, i have that hope. andlike im being dumb.. but meh. i cant do anything about it. i know you are in love with him and you dont love me no more. i know. same with me. though i dont love anyone. but i know i dont love you no more but i still reallllyyyy wanna be friends with you. but i dont want to be like forcing things. i forced way to much and i feel like im being annoying. but i dont wanna be like that no more. im more chill now. i've changed after you left me. from time to time im like why did i let you go? but im glad i did. annd i wonder what ahppened if i said no when you wanted to leave me. i know it's not the best for me to continue ranting. but yeah. jeff li he'll be good to you. i know of it. i dont feel any sadness or anything. not happy not sad not angry not joy. nothing. i feel nothing.

recently i've been watching something really funny. it's soo funny. running man is the best. Suits is the best too.

i hated him with all my energy all my might with everything. i think i had a hate boner for you 2. but like now i've let go of what you guys did though iknow you two are good im good. my sight was in the wrong direction. there should only be one direction i look at. but i was looking at the other 359 angles.

i've started smoking agian. but imma quit again. i thought it was stress but it's not. i have nothing to stress about to ruin my life. smoking ruins life. i drink a lot now. i get fucked up too much. but it's all gone now. what can i do? i have no desire at all not for anything. not even to live. i have no desire to do well. nothing.

gone.